Bitter Sweet

Well in two weeks i'm off to Florida to see my mom and stepdad. I'm both excited and extremely sad. I can't wait to see my mom, David go to the beach etc. I have not seen my mom in three years! It's a long over due trip. On the other hand i'm extremely sad to go because I know in my heart it will be the last time I ever see David. It is so weird to know that i'm saying goodbye to someone that I love. I don't have a very close relationship with him, but I love him because he has taken care of my mom all of these years. Anyone that can take care of her and deal with her issues gets a gold medal in my book. Don't get me wrong I love my mom but she does have issues. We have never really been extremely close. I came to live with my dad and stepmom (whom I claim as my mom but to not confuse people I will refer to her as stepmom) when I was eleven years old. I saw my mom once when I was 14 and then not again until I was 18. So it's not abnormal that we have not got to see each other in three ears. She did not see me ever run track, graduate high school, get married or give birth to my son. I will do whatever is needed to take care of her, but it is difficult. I sometimes find myself thinking why am I expected to take care of her now when she did not take care of me as a child? Is it automatically expected of someone to take care of your parent just because they are your parent?? If I don't take care of her I know I will have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. So with all of that being said, I'm off to Florida in two weeks!! I can't wait to set sail and sink my feet in the sand and have the salt water rush over my head. I can't wait to spend time with my son as we travel to places he does not remember going before. Most of all I can't wait to see David and say "goodbye" or I guess "see you later."