Monday, January 26, 2009

I'm back....

Well I never really left. I have been keeping up with all of my favorite blogs. Reading them everyday religiously....I just haven't felt like posting anything on my own blog. These last few months have been kind of rough. Honestly I never expected the death of my mom to have affected me so much. You see I have been preparing myself for her death for a VERY long time. Over ten years. Her lifestyle was such that it just knew at any moment she could be gone. However when I finally got that dreaded phone call I wasn't prepared. I was devastated. I went through the motions of daily life. I drove to Florida and made arrangements for her body. I went through all of her things and loaded them into our truck. I even brought her dog home with us. Now her ashes sit in my bedroom and her things are stacked in a corner still in the boxes. I just can't bring myself to go through it yet. Her sweet little dog has adjusted to his new home. He will look at me sometimes with such sympathetic eyes. He is grieving too. My step dad, who we all figured would be the one to die first, is beside himself. I talked to him at least once a week to see how he's doing. He was given about a year to live just six months each day he wakes up to start another day is a blessing! He has such a positive attitude and says "oh what do those doctors know anyways!" He told me just last Sunday that as he lays in his hospital bed which is in the living room he looks out onto the Florida Room just waiting for my mom to shuffle through. He says he still hears Peetie (my mom's dog) walking through the house almost every night...that's impossible because Peetie is here. It breaks my heart that he is so lonely and sad. It also breaks my heart that when I saw him in November may very well have been the last time I will ever see him again.
I would also like to apologize to the lucky winners of my contests from the Blog Carnival. I have yet to get the gifts in the mail yet....HOWEVER I promise I will soon. I have not forgotten about you wonderful people who participated in my giveaways. Please forgive my tardiness!!
On a brighter side on things Alex is doing great! I praise God everyday for his health and thank God for giving him to me. He brightens my day and makes me laugh. I really don't know what I would do without him!! Well I am off to bed. I plan on posting more often from here on out!