Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving!! Please be safe as you travel from place to place.

I am so thankful for my child's health, my family and that I am here to enjoy another Thanksgiving!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Thank you!

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your kind words of encouragement. You guys have know idea how good it feels to read your comments. I don't really have any friends in the "real" world that I can relate to rite now when it comes to my infertility issue. To read all of your stories and comments makes me feel like I fit in somewhere. Does that make sense? It's nice to know that the feelings that I am having are normal. I find myself feeling like this terrible person for feeling the way I do. I have met so many wonderful people since I started blogging and hope to meet many more. I love to read your stories!! So I just wanted to say Thank you!

Wordless Wednesday

Halloween was so much fun this year! Alex was the Grim Reaper (or so that's what we called it anyways...not really sure what he was!) I was a Devil (a nice one) and Steven was well I'm not really sure about that either. Steven and I threw our costumes together last minute as usual. Actually, I thought Steven's turned out the best. This picture really doesn't do his costume justice. He looked hilarious!! He played the part even better, which if you know Steven that is a huge deal. He gets sooo embarrassed about this kind of stuff, but this year he kinda let loose. I was proud of him!! We went trick or treating in a couple of different neighborhoods and Alex hit the candy jackpot! Ok I better stop or this is gonna turn into Wordy Wednesday....hmmm maybe that's an idea.

Halloween 2009.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I Will NEVER Understand This!

When I read things like this on the news it makes me so angry. So when I heard this on the news yesterday I was enraged and shocked. I used to live about twenty minutes from Nichols Hills. It is a suburb of Oklahoma City where alot of prominent people live. The homes are beautiful and it is considered to be very upper class. Does that really matter? Not really. This just further proves my theory that it doesn't matter how rich or poor you are we are all human and EVERYONE has problems. My question is why did no one see this coming? Evidently this doctor had been treated for severe depression since the early 1990's. There had to be warning signs. Maybe it's because this little boy is so close to Alex's age that it hit close to home. I just can't imagine anyone hurting a child let alone by their own parent(s). Please let's all say a prayer for this sweet little boy's mother. She survived the attack, but I'm sure mentally and emotionally she is just beside herself. I can't imagine what she is going through rite now.
Tommy Wolf - earned his Angel Wings 11/16/09

One year ago...

I can't believe it's been an entire year. A year since I heard your voice. A year since I said "I love you". A year since we chatted about the weather and our dogs. A year since I got that dreaded phone call no one wants to get. A year since you died and heaven gained an Angel. Mom, I love you and miss you more than words can express. I miss our Sunday morning chats and still find myself picking up the phone to call you. Oh if you could only see Peetie!! He is so happy and loves to run and play with the other dogs. He especially loves to play with Hammie...they run, roll around on the ground together and dig together!! He loves to curl under the blankets at night and snuggles with Alex. Alex loves to hear me tell funny stories about Peetie "The Great Big Chihuahua". Peetie LOVES to eat tortillas and still hates thunderstorms with a passion. He is such a special dog. He was with you in your final hours and I know he misses you. Sometimes I find him laying on your coat for comfort.
Alex has gotten so big!! He is almost to my shoulders now and weighs over sixty pounds! He loves school and has straight A's. He is looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. His Christmas list is already made of course. He likes to hear stories about you and I only wish he could have gotten to know you better.
I love Thanksgiving and I always think of the time we ate Thanksgiving dinner at Mamaw's house in her bedroom. She was too sick to get out of bed so we ate rite there in her room. Remember that? Such a wonderful day and special memory! I miss you so much mom. I know someday we will see each other again but until that day I will continue to miss you and wish you were here with me.
I love you!
Andrea Leigh

P.S. B-B-B I LOVE IT!!!!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Hiding the pain

Over the weekend I had to face the pain and deal with it. I had to fake being happy and excited. What did I have to face? My husbands cousin who recently found out she was expecting baby number 3. What happens when you get an entire room full of family? All they can do is talk about the upcoming baby. The room is filled with excitement. Is it my excitement? Nope. However, I did say congratulations with the biggest smile on my face and excitement in my voice. I really felt sad and angry that I wasn't the one getting congratulated. I was praying that no one noticed the pain in my eyes. Did I pull it off? I hope so.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Disguise the Turkey

Alex recently had a school project that was called "disguise the turkey." The goal was to disguise a turkey so he would be safe this Holiday season. When we first got the assignment I was a little worried. For those of you who don't know I am NOT the least bit crafty. I have ideas in my head, but they never come to life. So to say the least I was pretty nervous about this project. I encouraged Alex to brainstorm for ideas and told him he would be doing a majority of the leg work, but of course we would help him if needed. So I googled ways to disguise a turkey and off we went! Luckily I had just obtained a large amount of baby clothes from my sister in law...figured I might as well take them just in case we needed them because they were just going to be sold in a garage sale. (Yes i'm really hoping for that baby!). I came across some great ideas, but one in particular stuck out. I ran my idea across Alex and of course his initial response was "No, I don't like that" followed by giving me a look like I was crazy and didn't no ANYTHING. (Gotta love this age). However, I insisted and so off we went. End result?
A turkey disguised as a baby! (Thank goodness for the spare baby clothes!)

He loved the idea once it came to life! I was told this was my best idea ever and was given lots of hugs and kisses.

Backside view of Turkey Feathers

Up close and personal

This is the Turkey before we changed his face up a little. We stuffed the legs, arms, head and body with magazine pages.
Overall it was a fun project that we were able to work together on with Alex. Great family time even though it was school work!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Like salt in an open wound

I have been trying to wait a few days to post in order to get my arms wrapped around my emotions a little better. However, I find myself just as upset today as I was two days I decided to go ahead and post something. Hopefully I will feel better afterwards! Ok so as most of you know Steven and I are trying to have a baby. We have BEEN trying now for quite some time with obviously NO luck. I no, I no it will happen when it's meant to happen...or at least that's what everyone keeps telling me including Steven. How he remains so positive I don't no. BUT what if it NEVER happens? This questions haunts me pretty much on a daily basis. I absolutely HATE feeling the way I do especially towards other people who are pregnant. I don't want to be this jealous hateful person anymore, but I don't know how to get it under control. A few days ago I found out that my husbands cousin is expecting her third child. She has a two year old, a one year old and now she is pregnant again. When I read her myspace update that they were expecting again my first thought was "this is not fair." Then came anger, tears, jealousy, etc. Am I truly 100% happy for them? No i'm not. There I said it. I'm NOT happy....i'm pissed. Does this make me a bad person? Maybe, but i'm only human. I'm sure after a little bit of time has passed so will these emotions. I am just hoping that by blogging about this it will help me get this under control so I can fully embrace the joys of our soon to be new family member. At this moment in time, however, when I hear news of people expecting it's just like someone is pouring salt in an open wound.