Back in the Day

Back in the day I was a really good runner.  I started running when I was in the 8th grade and continued throughout my high school and college career.  I actually hated to run, but I loved to win so that in itself kept me motivated.  Well to make a long story short I did really well in both track and cross country, won lots of medals, won the state championship in 1994 and got a scholarship to college.  Then I got injured and burnt out and really haven't ran since 2000.  Anyways you can only imagine how out of shape I really am!  So the other day I took Alex to the local community center to work out with me and we decided to walk around the indoor track.  Of course Alex couldn't stand to walk for long and before I knew it he was doing circles around me.  Me being the competitive person that I am tried to keep up with him only to about fall over from pure exhaution.  Very embarassing to say the least.  At one point he stops next to me and places his hand on my back and our conversation went a little something like this:

Alex:  Mom are you ok?
Me: Whew. Yes I'm ok just really out of shape and tired.
Alex: Mom come on you can do it.  You gotta get back into running.
Me: Honey, I am trying I just don't think I can do it.
Alex: (as he pats my back and looks at me with the sweetest most sincere look I have ever seen) Mom you are a champion.  I know you can do it. Remember all of the medals you have at home? You are a champion!! Come on you can do it!!

What does a mom say to that? Well I got my tired butt in gear and ran a few more laps with a big smile on my face...after all I didn't want him to think that a champion would quit and give up! I may not be a champion to the rest of the world, but I am to him!

Time to get Serious

So I have decided that it's time to get serious about this whole pregnancy thing.  I mean really serious.  I will be 33 in April and have realized no that's not old, BUT my baby making years are passing by fast.   Ok not that I haven't been taking it serious for the past 2 years, but there are several things we haven't tried.  I am going to the doctor Thursday and plan to ask about Clomid and see what other options are availble in that department.  I have started that wonderful thing we call a period today so I thought what better time to get serious. We are starting fresh this month with a whole new positive outlook on things.  Wish me luck!!

Not Me Monday!

Wow it has been ALONG time since I have participated in Not Me Monday as you can see here.  It is so much fun so I thought today I would come out of Not Me Monday hiding.  You can go to Mckmama's site and read so many great posts as well as put your Not Me post up on Mr. Linky!

• I did not go to the grocery store Saturday night in my pajamas and hair rollers...that would be really embarassing
• I certainly did not let my son stay up until 10:30 on a school night watching a movie just because he told me I was "the best mom in the entire world".
• I did not drink 3 Dr. Peppers and eat half a bag of Sour Cream and Onion chips in roughly an hour and then wonder why I have gained weight.
• I did not laugh until I couldn't breathe when my husband fell while we were roller skating.  Not me! A loving caring wife would have ran over to make sure he was ok.

Well I feel better!  So what did you guys NOT do this past week?

Confessions

Ok so I am pretty much the most terrible person in the world. Or at least that is the way I feel. A little over a year ago I had a miscarriage. At the same time my sister in law found out she was pregnant as well and went on to give birth to my beautiful neice. How does this make me a terrible person you ask? Well we are babysitting my neice and nephew this weekend and I can't help have feelings of hurt and anger when I see this beautiful child. Isn't that just wrong??? I feel like crap for feeling this way. I'm not personally angry at her at all. I love her and enjoy spending time with her. However last nite I found myself unable to cope with my feelings. I became upset and overwhelmed with guilt that I was feeling this way. It got so bad at one point that I was in tears and screaming at my husband for no apparant reason. He looked at me baffled and had no idea what was wrong with me. To make it even worse you no what I said? I told him to just go away and that he hadn't been the one who had had three miscarriages. That didn't go over so well. Once I had a minute to calm dow I realized how utterly stupid I was being and that yes my husband had suffered three miscarriages rite along with me. Boy did I feel like a real putz. Luckily I have the most forgiving husband on the planet (in my biased opinion anyways) and he didn't stay mad at me long. He knows just when to step in and let me have a little time to regroup. He immediately took over with the kids and told me to go relax in a hot bath. Yes I feel very lucky to have married this man. So this morning I am feeling alot better about things. It is so strange how these emotions come in waves. They lay dormant for months at a time and then without a moments notice they rear their ugly head. Will it ever get better?
(sidenote: sorry for any misspellings....I am writing this from my cell phone and my back button is stuck so I can't fix things.)

Life's Simple Pleasures

I just visited Kelly's Korner (which by the way I just adore her blog) and she has a cool post up and I thought I would participate. It's been awhile since I have participated in something fun on my blog. There are so many simple pleasures in my life that sometimes I take for granted. Hopefully this will be a reminder to all of us that sometimes we just need to slow down and enjoy life's Simple Pleasures! So here goes my list in no particular order:

• Making a pallet on the floor and watching movies with Alex
• Going in Alex's room at night and watching him sleep...he looks so sweet and peaceful.
• The way the air smells right before it's going to rain
• Watching my sweet dog Hammie roll around on his back and make weird noises (cracks me up every time!)
• Going on a walk with my family and talking about anything and everything
• Hitting the snooze button in the mornings
• Talking on the phone
• The sound of thunder and rain
• The fact that Alex still thinks i'm cool
• Warm summer nights
• Mt. Dew (or sprite) with fresh strawberries in it
• Burritos with sour cream
• The feeling you get when you first fall in love
• Alex's adorable little feet. I have loved them since day 1!! Some may think that's weird, but I just love his cute feet!
• The way my husband looks at me when I do something silly

Oh how the list can go on and on!! Here are just a few of my Simple Pleasures in life. How about you guys?

I am still here!

Wow it's been ALONG time since my last post. I don't know what happened but time just kind of slipped by. The Holidays went really well. We had such a great time being with family and Santa was super good to Alex this year. I love Christmas and all of the magic that comes along with it!! I have a ton of pictures to post (we finally got a new camera last month!).

As far as the whole getting pregnant thing goes....no major news flash when I say that i'm still not pregnant. Actually we have kind of taken a break from trying this past month. I just couldn't take anymore and needed a break. Don't get me wrong i'm still hoping and praying that it happens. It's just when we are trying I get a little obsessed right around the time my period should be due and start taking pregnancy tests like a mad woman. I'm sure you guys know what I mean when I say "I think I see a faint line. Is that a line???" I just couldn't do it this month!! By the way I really hate pregnancy tests.

Ok not that I have a huge reader base or anything, but I was wondering if any of you have any experience with the fertility drug Clomid. Many moons ago I took it for about a month, then my ex-husband decided to start acting like an total ass and we split up so I obviously quit taking it. I don't even think it had time to work. Back then I didn't even think I had problems with fertility. I just whined to my OB that I hadn't gotten pregnant in about a months time and she said well let's try this and see how it works. Have any of you ever tried it? Did it work? Are there any terrible side affects? Does it increase your chance of having multiples? I seem to remember my doctor saying it didn't, but I'm not sure! I would sure appreciate any information you guys have to offer!

Well I better get back to the grind of things and actually work! Have a great Tuesday guys!