I have been up half the night trying to decide whether or not to share this with everyone. Not that I have a huge reader base but still this is kinda private. However, I always feel better when I write down what i'm thinking and feeling. I could also use a few prayers! My husband and I are having some major problems and to be honest with you I have NO idea what to do. I'm feel so lost and sad. I love him with all of my heart and soul. He is my soulmate if you believe in that sort of stuff. I have known that things have been off for quite some time. I just didn't know what exactly was wrong. I could just FEEL that something was going terribly wrong yet no matter how hard I tried to wrap my arms around the problem I just kept slipping. We were holding hands at one point on this journey and now I feel like he has let my hand go and i'm lost like a little kid in a huge amusement park. What do I do? We have been married almost two years and together for almost five. We have been friends for eight years and to be honest I can't imagine my life without him. Yet I feel like he is already gone. I won't go into graffic details yet as to what has been discussed or said but let me tell you it's NOT good. It also has NOTHING to do with the way I feel but how he feels. Not good I tell ya. I know marriage is hard and you have to fight. I also know that at any given point one of you can fall "out of love". I have always told Steven that we can't both fall out of love at the SAME time. Don't you think that is just a recipe for disaster?
I am praying that we can soldier through this rough patch and come out a stronger and healthier couple. At the moment though i'm just so uncertain and feel very lost.
7 minutes ago