Thursday, October 30, 2008

The New Neighbor

If you happened to visit my blog and read my Not Me Monday post then you already know I have a new neighbor whom I happen to think is extremely hot. Ok guys, i'm married to a wonderful man who I love more than anything in the whole wide world and he is the hottest thing on earth, but I just so happen to like to look at pretty people. (By the way so does my husband...ya caught him checking out the cute girl who delivered our food at sonic just the other day) My motto is it's ok to look but if you touch then your hand is going to get chopped off! I am also 31 and going through a semi-mid life crisis. I have fat deposits in spots that I used to NEVER have and wrinkles that make me look like a scare crow. God forbid when the gray hair starts to arrive! Oh and did I mention that a "hot" night out on the town consists of McDonald's and whatever kid movie that's showing at our local theater? So you know for me to look at the hot neighbor well it makes me feel young again. I wouldn't trade my life now for anything but I think everyone feels this way sometimes? Don't they? Oh hell maybe it's just me....
When I say neighbor I mean it. He practically lives in my back yard. You see our house (which we currently rent) is connected by this little strip of stuff to his house. When I sit on my back porch I can see his bathroom....with no curtains. I DID NOT look....
He has only been our neighbor now for about a month. We have talked to him a handful of times and he comes across as a super nice person. However, I really don't want to talk to him much. I want him to remain the mysterious man I know nothing about. I think all of you know why. Have you ever met that "perfect" guy who just couldn't get any cuter?? Then he opened his mouth and you about puke because he was such an idiot?? I think everyone can relate to this.
So the other day my husband and I were pulling out of the driveway to take Alex to the Church fall festival when I noticed that Mr. Neighbor's dog had managed to break one of his bedroom windows. I was like oh wow I HAVE to go let him know so his dog doesn't get hurt....I obviously didn't think things through very well. I was just thinking oh boy I get to go say hi!!! It was only after I had knocked on his door (which of course he answered) that I realized I looked like this:

Yes....a blooming idiot.

I got to thinking today what if he or one of his friends/family members just happens to stumble upon my blog? If I can find a picture of him on the Internet in two minutes then it is possible for that to happen. How mortifying would that be? He would either be flattered or think i'm the crazy stalker lady that lives in very close proximity. More than likely he will think i'm crazy and go to our local police station and promptly file a protective order! Maybe I can blame it on old age, fat deposits and scare crow wrinkles?
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